


kicked by a horse

by aforest



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Child Abuse, Fluff, M/M, Mention of sex, Sad, Sad Josh, Sexual Abuse, tyler is so soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 20:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18080471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aforest/pseuds/aforest
Summary: josh was kicked by a horseand there’s rain and a ringing in his ear and he can’t remember what life was like before that.then there’s tyler.and the rain stops.





	kicked by a horse

**Author's Note:**

> this is shit but i got tired half way through maybe if people like it i’ll write more 
> 
> i made up the horse thing!!! that’s not a real term don’t trust me lol!! 
> 
> enjoy i guess

josh didn’t remember life before the ringing in his ears and the rain in his head. 

he knew there had been an accident. he knew that he had lived with his parents and his three siblings, but once the accident happened he was put into foster care. without his siblings. he knew their names but nothing about them. he was lonely for awhile. foster care wasn’t good for him. he went from house to house from age 11 to 18. then he was on his own. 

his anxious habit of drumming his fingers turned into a full time hobby for him. he begin to drum and started working at the local music store. 

that’s when he met tyler. 

he didn’t have a ringing in his ears or rain in his head. but he did have sad eyes and a pretty smile. he came in looking for an instrument. 

“anything to keep me occupied” he told josh. 

josh rung up the ukulele and put it in its case. he smiled and handed it over. 

“you don’t talk much do you?” 

tyler left the store confused. how could that seemingly normal boy be so strange. he barely spoke a word and when he did it was a quiet almost whisper of slurred together words and over annunciated vowels. but still, tyler was intrigued. 

josh could not stop thinking of the brown eye and the crooked teeth and the fluff of mocha hair and the soft hands but strong arms. he was intrigued. 

“it’s out of tune.” 

“they come like that. you have to tune it yourself.” 

“oh. i see. can you teach me? it’s josh right?” 

tyler had returned to the music shop no less then eighteen hours later. josh took the small instrument and froze. he can’t tune a ukulele if he can’t hear the notes. 

“i-i... i cant tune this for you i’m sorry i’ll go get someone else” he quickly stuttered.

“you made it sound like it was easy drummer boy,” tyler joked, “guess you can’t do it either huh” 

josh didn’t hear the joke. he heard ringing and he heard rain. thunder made his head pound and the clouds started to fog his vision. 

tyler noticed the hearing aid.

“hey i’m sorry it was just a joke, you know what? i’ll tune it later. thanks for the help josh, see you around” 

“wait, i can get someone it’s okay-“

“hey. don’t worry about it. you seem busy right now anyways. how about i put my number in your phone and you can text me when it’s a better time to come.” tyler smiled, all dimples and squinty eyes. 

josh was gone for him.

the rain didn’t stop for the rest of the day. he went home and laid in bed for the rest of the night. 

“wanna meet me for dinner tomorrow, drummer boy?” 

the rain stopped. 

they had met twice. 

but nonetheless, josh was gone for him. 

“sure

ukulele boy doesn’t sound quite as cool as drummer boy”

“if you don’t mind me asking, the hearing aid, were you born with it” tyler asked in the middle of the charming diner he had brought josh too. 

“was i born with the hearing aid? no i wasn’t. i wish i was,i actually had to pay quite a bit for them” 

tyler couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard

and he was gone for him too. 

the question never got answered. and it wasn’t asked again until a few dates later. they were at josh’s place, on the couch watching the office. the subtitles were on and the volume was up to eighty eight. 

“i was kicked in the head by a horse” 

“you what?”

“i was kicked in the head by a horse. the hearing aids. i was kicked by a horse and i don’t remember life before that” 

“shit.”

and the conversation ended there. michael hit meredith with his car and tyler couldn’t breathe from laughing again. josh couldn’t see the screen from the clouds and the storm in his head. 

tyler couldn’t help but notice how skittish joshua seemed. any loud crash would cause him to jump and often when tyler would raise his hand he would flinch. tyler tried to come up with logical reasons why, was it the horse? or some childhood trauma? he couldn’t find a reason that seemed valid. 

the next time the topic was brought up was months after they had first met. they were in bed. 

“tell me more about yourself, joshua. what was it like, your accident?”

“i don’t remember anything from before waking up in the hospital. my parents weren’t there, and neither were my siblings. i was young, eleven, and i was scared. my head hurt and i couldn’t hear”

“your family wasn’t there?”

josh’s face went red. 

“never saw them again actually. child services took me away. guess it isn’t good parenting to let your child get kicked by a horse” 

tyler frowned. but josh seemed okay. he leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“ever since then there’s just been this rain”

“rain?”

“a thunderstorm in my head with booming thunder and a thick fog that clouds my vision. and thick black rain that dampens my brain. rain. always” 

“i think i love you” 

“i think i love you too” 

“goodnight drummer boy” 

tyler didn’t sleep that night. he stayed up and thought about what josh had told him. 

you can’t be taken away from your parents because they had made one mistake right? 

it didn’t make sense. 

until he remembered the flinching. and the whimpering in his sleep. sometimes josh woke up screaming for “them” to stop. he always brushed it off. he said he had had nightmares since he was young. 

tyler whipped his phone out and googled, 

“kicked by horse” 

urban dictionary told him it was a term that parents used as an excuse as to why their kids were injured ( normally from abuse ) 

tyler cried. he cried and he cried at the thought of young joshua being abused by his parents. he thought of the sex they had. how timid josh seemed. the abuse couldn’t just be physical. it was sexual and mental and emotional. and poor josh had no idea. tyler knew he saw a therapist but he never was truly sure what for. he thought it must of been because of trauma

from the horse 

not from his parents.

that night tyler hugged josh harder then he ever had. 

and every night after that. 

“josh” 

“tyler”

“your parents, they didn’t do anything harmful before the horse right?”

“i don’t remember ty. i don’t even know what they looked like. i haven’t seen pictures or anything. i don’t know my family”

“your siblings?”

“i have a brother. and two sisters. jordan, that’s my brother. he’s younger than me. i think. i think i’m the oldest?” 

“your sisters?”

“abigail and...”

“it’s okay-“

“no no i can remember i can-“

“josh it’s okay”

“can you let me figure this out tyler? don’t fucking interrogate me just to tell me to stop. why are you so interested in my past anyways?” 

josh never yelled. he was all smiles and soft touches. but now he was angry and spitting. tyler didn’t know what to do.

“i just want to make sure you’re okay” 

“i’m not tyler. i can barely fucking hear and the rain tyler the fucking rain it won’t stop” 

“the rain- it cant be from the horse too, right?” 

tyler was about to lose it. josh didn’t understand. he just wanted what’s best for him. 

“i don’t fucking know! leave me the fuck alone!” 

“no josh! i won’t leave you alone! the nightmares, the shaking, the skittishness- explain it to me! i cant take another night of you waking up screaming please just talk to me!” tyler yelled. he screamed. he spat. way louder then he meant too. 

josh’s eyes went dark. he became someone else. he got up and ran into the bedroom locking the door behind him. 

“fuck.”

“ signs of past abuse “ tyler typed into his computer. he spent hours searching for answers. josh showed many of the symptoms showing up on the screen. 

tyler slept on the couch that night.

the next day he knocked on the bedroom door. 

“josh?” 

“josh baby?”

“drummer boy? please?”

there it was, the unlocking sound of the door. 

josh was inside, in an oversized hoodie. his eyes were red and he seemed smaller then ever. 

“baby” tyler said, frowning before wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. 

they walked over to the bed, still embracing and laid down. 

“i’m sorry-“

“i remembered” josh whispered. he didn’t have his hearing aids in, he couldn’t hear how loud he was speaking.

“i shouldn’t of yelled. it was wrong and i have no reason to be mad and i understand if you never want to forgive me-“

“i remember” josh said, a little louder. 

“oh”

“i remember tyler. it wasn’t a horses hoof. it was my dad’s shoe. and my moms hand and it was years if yelling and fighting and abuse. it was years of thinking ‘oh yeah this is normal all dads have sex with their sons’ it wasn’t a horse tyler. it was never a horse. the rain. it not from the accident. there was no accident. i remember” 

“baby” tyler said and wrapped his arms around josh. josh cried and cried and showed tyler his wrists. 

“oh honey please don’t hurt yourself this isn’t your fault” 

silence from josh. 

“i do it too. i have my own storm in my head. my parents weren’t like that to me but i have my own demons. but j you gotta fight them. for me. please. please. your therapist, we need to tell her” 

“why didn’t the doctors tell me. why did i go my whole life believing a horse did this to me on a trip to my grandma’s farm?” josh was laughing now.  
“my grandma lives in california tyler. she doesn’t even own a farm. i remember now”

tyler didn’t know what to say. 

“my siblings. they weren’t knocked out that day. they know the truth. they’ve lived with it for 13 years and i’m just now finding out” 

“i love you”

“i remember tyler. i remember life before the horse” 

“i love you” 

“maybe soon the rain will stop?” 

“maybe.” 

“i love you too”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading lmk if i should write more idk if i’ll add to this bc the story’s basically done but lmk if u just want more fics in general!!!


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